moments

i have no time on my hands. only moments, bits stuck under my fingernails that need to be pried loose with tip of a sharp knife. we went to court with the kid on monday. niether of us slept worth a shit the night before, waiting for the sound of the front door that would let us know he came home. the door didn't open. he showed up here forty minutes before he was to be in court. he was nervious, pacing, trying to find a shirt to wear, deciding whether to take his wallet, old shoes or new shoes... then hours waiting in the court house to find out that the court has not yet filed a case against him. they have up to a year to file. wait for a notice from the court. joe is sick with the flu. i think everything caught up with him, and it's kicking him in the ass. i spent the night trying to pull some of the heat off of him. he would lay up against my back, his hot against my cool, and when we evened out, we would turn over and i would lay against his back and lay my cool hand on his hot chest. joe's kid is sleeping on the couch. he talks in his sleep. sometimes i wish i couldn't make out what he says. i can't make payroll this week. accounts receivable, but not received. i'm losing my desire to this anymore. i know i'm tired and this will pass. i'm trying to pull myself up by my mental bootstraps this morning. bleh. my daughter showed me pictures of her and her husband. i cried when i saw them. i have not yet met my son in law. i have spoken to him on the phone. he is in prison. and will be for fifteen more months. i cried because of the look on their faces in the pictures, i've never seen her so happy. i never expected that i would feel right about my daughter having a jailhouse marriage. but you have to know my daughter, and i know her. she's a dragon. she's one of my blessings and my blessings are too numerous to count. you are amoung them.